babydolls teenage awakening xxx

19th oct 2012

dollhouse

was thinking of times when i was younger...

didnt know what love is,fitting in was one of the most trying thing a girl can go through...

when i turned 11 i thought i liked someone,was surprised to be liked back...
then i felt broekn hearted the first time..thats becasue i thought when you liked someone
it automatically meant 'love'

it was strange when i was 12 i was always an actress for the school plays
ofcourse a lot watch the shows and i was mistaken to be 14 and was asked for 'dates'
by older boys!

when i was 14 a friend of my older brother broke up with his gf and was surprised to know
it was because of me...
he started sending me love letters through fax and was received by my mothers secretary
and ofcourse my older brother got wind of it and thought it was funny!

it wasnt funny

i didnt understand it...

i had a number of suitors but didnt think much of them..
and also this guy who liked me was already 24 years old and i thought it was strange...
why would he want me a 14 year old girl???

he did everything to take me out but i refused and he took out my brothers friends my sisters friends hoping that i would go out with them...

a few years after i realized why he wanted me...

it was an awakening and a revelation because i started to appreciate myself...
thinking about it now,nothing much changed and i wonder if it is one reason why
attraction is the main reason men would want to have a girl like me?
i know a pretty face is only attractive in the next few weeeks but what is it that men want?
was it just sex?
conversation?
company?

is it love?

a bit of understanding?

even now i wonder why?

there were love lost

there were some found
disappeared

that made me think of it as a lost cause

nothing to think about


until now

i wasnt looking for love,far from it
but then it comes..
in a sugarbowl world where things are always undone..

you think you are trying to just fit in
this world that we live in...
but becasu of it,my senses came alive...
and you think no one would stay...
He stayed...

where promises are always broken,He kept them
when you thought you wont feel another caress,a kiss that affection you so wanted...
when you think you will be alone ,will always be alone
there was someone waiting,questions answered...

like that teenage awakening...
i understood more than i should...

life can be so cruel
but i found that love is kind..
where there is none,
love will find...